Top 10 Quotes – If Samuel L. Jackson Were An Internet Marketer

Samuel L. Jackson has gained quite the reputation over the years for having unforgettable lines in many movies. So much so, in fact, the online engagement around the 2006 film Snakes On A Plane included recommendations for new memorable lines specifically for him. Some of those lines were actually written into the script. After years of exposure to many of his most memorable lines, I started to wonder what he’d say if he were an Internet marketer, as opposed to an actor.

If you’ve seen his films you certainly know he has a knack for using swear words. I purposely did not include them in the quotes below. However, part of the fun is to read the quotes in his voice and guess what colorful language he might include. If that doesn’t work, the links provided for each quote go to the scene in the actual movie where he speaks these memorable, unedited lines. Enjoy. . .

The pontification goes like this:

10. “Internet troll, be cool!” – Pulp Fiction (1994)

9. “LinkedIn PPC. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to reach every persona in the target demographic, accept no substitutes.” – Jackie Brown (1997)

8. “Hey, MySpace may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ’cause I wouldn’t use the filthy social network.” – Pulp Fiction (1994)

7. “Bring me my iPad. It’s the one that says ‘Magnificent Internet Marketer!’” – Pulp Fiction (1994)

6. In reference to spammers: “Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn. . !” A Time To Kill (1996)

5. After being asked by IT where his missing MacBook was: “Geek, I smoked the MacBook!” – Jungle Fever (1991)

4. “Just ’cause you pour dollars into PPC doesn’t make it inbound marketing!” – Juice (1992)

3. To a designer: “If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.” – Pulp Fiction (1994)

2. “Say ‘what’ again. SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN! I dare you, I double-dare you, content marketer! Say ‘what’ one more time!” – Pulp Fiction (1994)

1. “Enough is enough! I have had it with these annoying trolls on this annoying social network!” – Snakes On A Plane (2006)

Hope you were as entertained reading these quotes as I was crafting them. If you’re not a Samuel L. Jackson fan that’s okay, because there are some real marketing lessons to be learned above. If you’re an Internet marketer and a fan feel free to leave your favorite marketing version of a Samuel L. Jackson quote below. I trust you’ll keep it clean. . .